An Affliction Over Affection
by theLonelystart
Summary: Riley was obsessed with boys, a new Emotion was hogging the control console, and no one but Disgust seemed to care! Puberty, Disgust was beginning to realize, ruins everything...


Riley's had her eye on a boy in her Math class for a whole week now and it was the most revolting thing since broccoli. Seriously. Who would've guessed that that 'Puberty' thing on the control console would actually be…troublesome. I mean- didn't Riley remember that boys have cooties?

Disgust groaned irritably. Of course she didn't! Not since that new Emotion appeared and screwed everything up. However, Disgust couldn't bring herself to _hate_ Affection. Affection had proved herself to be a useful member of the team by bringing Riley closer to her parents and friends, but she also brought Riley closer to boys which was a huge 'no' in Disgust's book…but apparently it wasn't in anyone else's!

This boy...what was his name again...it started with a T…Tommy! Tommy had somehow won over every Emotion in Headquarters and it was totally ridiculous. Literally, everyone had a reason to like this kid!

Joy liked him because he made Riley feel happy, Sadness liked him because he cheered Riley up when she was sad, Fear liked him because he made Riley feel braver… _my god_ …even Anger was okay with him!

 _"He defended Riley when that other kid made fun of her," Anger had said, shrugging. "I have to cut him some slack there."_

Disgust still wasn't sure though. There had to be a catch here! Puberty hadn't been anything but vile since it began. Boys, sparkling vampires, EUGH! Don't even get her started on romcoms! Man, Disgust still didn't understand why bleeding for a week every month was relevant to anything. I mean- yeah. Mom _had_ given them a talk about it and mentioned some stuff that _no one_ needed to know, but it still seemed pretty stupid.

Affection let out a long, breathy sigh and leaned her elbows on the console. She clicked a few buttons and soon enough-Riley was giving Tommy a dorky smile. Gross, gross, gross, gross, gross!

Joy was standing beside the pink Emotion and gazing approvingly upon the screen. "I've never seen Riley so… _awake_ in Math class before! How are you doing this?"

 _Sorcery?_ Disgust mused.

Affection flashed her a charming smile and waved a dismissive hand," It's all about love, Joy. Love conquers everything!"

Disgust snorted. _Yeah, I heard Hate is pretty good at that too._

"So…" Joy said tentatively, tapping an anxious finger on the surface of the console," …about that thing you were telling me about earlier…like about her first kiss?"

Disgust's jaw nearly fell off. First…kiss?

Oh. Heck. No.

"Oh no we don't!" Disgust snapped, lurching for the controls and managing to latch on to one of the levers. She took a moment to catch her breath and awkwardly compose herself. "Affection, I know that you're doing your best here but don't you think it's time to give one of us a turn? I mean- Riley hasn't been able to think straight for a whole week now and who knows how that's going to affect her long term."

"But love makes her happy," Affection replied stiffly, flicking a control that caused Riley to lean in towards the boy even more.

Disgust arched an eyebrow. _Um, excuse you?_

"But she's a total dope right now!" Disgust protested, pulling Riley back.

"A happy dope." _Flick._

"Oh, please! Once Riley gets the cooties- _none_ of us are going to be happy!" _Flick._

"The cooties?" _Flick._

"Yes. It's a serious medical condition." _Flick._

"Really? Cause I'm pretty sure the cooties are just as fictional as sparkling vampires." _Flick._

Disgust gagged," Eugh, don't even play that card right now! It's not going to work." _Flick._

Affection's face shifted deviously and she opened her mouth again.

"Ooooookay! Let's just take a few moments to calm down and uh…give Riley a break, huh?" Joy said, smiling nervously as she stood between the two warring Emotions. "Yeah, that's better! I'll just get it from here. Thanks for the help though."

"But-" they said simultaneously.

"YEP! You two have been great!" Joy shouted a little too cheerily.

 _Was that sarcasm? Wow, I'm really rubbing off on these guys..._ Disgust thought.

"I was done anyway," Disgust said airily before sauntering away.

 _Lousy Affection making Riley look stupid in public…but at least I got her away from the controls this time…_

"Hmph…cooties _are not_ fictional!" Disgust grumbled.


End file.
